The hospitality houses will close for renovations in late January and will reopen with “cafe-style menu[s]” later this winter sans sample. It’s a sad day for, well, everyone.

The company didn’t provide an explanation for its decision, but rumors that Shamu recently entered a 12-step program have been drastically exaggerated.

Hamilton prepared in style, drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels before beginning. “The key today was me getting real drunk and my partner not missing, and us coming out and proving we’re the best,” he told the Associated Press after finishing the tournament which was held at Las Vegas’ Flamingo.

The winners, who met at a bar in 2005 and have “been unstoppable ever since,” plan to pay off their debt and Hamilton will also help his mom with her mortgage. Beer pong: solving the housing crisis since ‘08.

With DRAFT’s new “The Where Are You Drinking?” game, your unending knowledge of bars worldwide can win you a prize. Simply go here and guess the bar we’re featuring based on the visual and written clues and you could come away with a DRAFT hat and tee shirt.

We’ll get you started with a snippet of the clue: “Claiming to be the oldest and largest restaurant of its kind on the West Coast, it’s not uncommon to see lederhosen, polka and large pints of beer inside this inviting downtown venue, while occasional winds from the nearby bay rip down the street outside…”

Now, start guessing and good luck.

The Where Are You Drinking? game.

Sounds like any other year, except given the dire economic situation facing the world, it’s even more necessary this year. According to the International Herald Tribune, champagne companies are struggling along with the rest of us: “The major producers like Moet & Chandon or Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin, who sell the bulk of their bottles through retailers, saw shipments drop 21 percent in October from a year earlier.” We’ll go ahead and assume that sales of Andre are hurting as well. Let’s rectify that situation, pronto.

(With that, we’re heading out for the rest of the day. Have fun tonight and be safe, of course.)

We promise you’ll learn fascinating facts about your favorite fictional brews. For example, did you know that “While [Benderbrau Cold-Fusion Steam Beer] was never officially released publicly, the Futurama writers are keen amateur brewers and made a real version for themselves.” No wonder that show was so much fun.

Those souls who feel exceptionally brave should head to Scotty’s the night before for its New Year’s Eve celebration. It runs until 2 a.m., so you will have just enough time to head home, grab some shuteye, and return for the dill chips. Come to think of it, maybe there’s a cot in the back you can borrow.

The best part?

“Several kegs of beer rolled down onto adjacent Youngfield Street, said Lisa Stigall, spokeswoman for the Wheat Ridge Police Department.

‘There are a lot of cans of beer, since it was a 53-foot-long truck with a 70,000- to 80,000-pound load,’ Stigall said.”

According to officials on the scene, there were 160 kegs and thousands of Keystone cans. In other words, a lot of sh*tty beer now resides on the side of a Colorado highway, which is probably the best place for it.

(Yes, that’s a picture of Grolsch cases, but it’s really amazing. And sad.)

Steven Fitzpatrick Smith (a perfect name for a pub owner, no?), proprietor of Royale, is offering a free beer to anyone who comes in and asks for free resume advice from education consultant Allison Trombley who the owner recruited to help his customers.

What’s in it for Smith? Well, he admits that, “Handing out beer with no compensation doesn’t necessarily help my bottom line, but it does get people in here. Activity is very important. Sedentary businesses don’t succeed.” Also, we’d imagine it probably gets pretty boring working in a bar during the early afternoon.

Step into Belga Cafe, the first true Belgian restaurant in Washington, D.C., and you’ll instantly be transported to Europe: Menus are printed in Flemish and English; dark wood furniture fills the intimate, friendly atmosphere; and top-notch service awaits. This is what makes the four-year-old restaurant a neighborhood favorite, and the kind of place travelers love to discover.

Any trip to our nation’s capital clearly isn’t complete without a trip to Beluga. It’s much tastier than all that historical junk.

Pub of the Month: Belga Cafe, Washington, D.C.

According to Haakensen, “What we’ve done here is, by using DNA methods, we can actually figure out in a matter of one to two days if that beer will spoil.”

The University of Saskatchewann boasts one of two labs devoted to the study of beer (the other is in the Asahi brewery in Japan). She has won scholarships from breweries including Cargill Malt, Coors and Miller, and presented her research at the World Brewing Congress in Hawaii last summer. Pretty soon, Bitter Beer Face will be a thing of the past.