Both Advertising Age and The Big Money skewer the brand for its “Drinkability” campaign. The former publication says it can be “considered a major factor in Bud Light posting the first full-year sales decline in its history.” Ouch.

The publications focus on the use of marketers and consulting firms to help advertising agencies figure out what consumers want. The upshot? These so-called experts have no idea, but will happily take your money pretending they do. Small brewers take note: Stick to your guns, trust your gut, and go for it. You know your brand better than they do.

That said, we honestly didn’t hate the Drinkability campaign, but what do we know? An example spot is below. Yeah, it could be better.

Boston Beer Co. announced its fourth-quarter results after trading Monday and although the makers of Samuel Adams announced profits of 52 cents per share and a three percent revenue growth, the stock still fell sharply in after hours trading. Why? Because analysts predicted a 58-cents-per-share profit and higher revenue as well. D’oh.

Still, would you rather own a piece of Boston Beer or some soul-sucking corporation like Wal-Mart?

The paper put together a panel of experts — Dr. Dan Rutherford, Sarah Stanner, and Tony Gallagher (trust us, they are experts) — who offer up their thoughts on shrinking the ole gut. The suggestions are quite extensive, more an entire life redo than simply a plan for losing some weight, but we could all stand to get in better shape, right?

Thumbs up indeed!

It’s the last class before the final for Columbia University’s bartending students, and the teachers have one final lesson: how to take a blowjob shot.

Clickthrough to read the rest of her report from the frontlines of college bartending classes across this great land.

Ivy League Cocktails

Today: Ohio.

Buckeye Beer Engine
Lakewood, Ohio
Created as a springboard for owner/brewer Garin Wright’s Buckeye Brewing Co., The Beer Engine has since honed its beer list to include a slew of uncommon crafts. Aficionados will park themselves close to the 27 taps, where brews from Heavy Seas, Klokke, and Boulder Beer pour alongside a regular cask that often drips Jolly Pumpkin. Another 200 bottles range from American classics to European oddities. Naturally, Buckeye makes an appearance, too, both on tap and at regular beer dinners.
15315 Madison Ave.

The Comet
Cincinnati
Sometimes you want to quietly ponder the complexities of your Trappist ales; other times, you simply want to down your IPA in the presence of a great band and a monster burrito. The Comet’s a good spot for the latter, with 200 American and European microbrews, local and national acts most nights, and a Mexican menu touting bean, chicken, beef and tofu burritos, and a salsa of the month. The local art display and vintage black-and-white photo booth make The Comet truly otherworldly.
4579 Hamilton Ave.

McNulty’s Bier Markt
Cleveland
Bier Markt officially transgressed from tavern to compound when it opened Speakeasy, a Prohibition-themed cocktail bar, in its basement last year (the building also houses the wine-and-pizza spot Bar Cento). On the main floor, you’ll still find the original pub’s killer collection of nearly 100 Belgian bottles, and 18 wise taps that permanently include Gulden Draak, Ommegang Rare Vos, Brooklyn IPA, and $1 PBRs. Bartenders will employ a three-step Perfect Pour system for whatever you choose.
1948 W. 25th St.

Nicholson’s Tavern and Pub
Cincinnati
Owner W.N. Sanders’ extensive research throughout the U.K. resulted in this elegant Scottish public house, a 7,500-square-foot ode to the Highlands. Nicholson’s boasts an 80-foot mahogany bar, two patios, and a cozy fireplace room; what anchors the pub, however, is the largest selection of single-malt Scotch in the region and Sanders’ hand-selected tap list. Twenty-five brews pour the likes of Belhaven and Brewdog, and a cask rotates regularly.
625 Walnut St.

Winking Lizard Tavern
Bedford, Ohio
This reptile-themed beer bar has spawned 13 other Ohio locations, but the original Lizard in Bedford remains our favorite. Sure, the pub’s got a packed menu of American bar faves and a host of taps and bottles, but the main draw is the annual World Tour of Beers, a trek for the palate of 150 far-reaching taps and bottles (think Moretti La Rosa from Italy and St. Ambrose Oatmeal Stout from Canada). Patrons who reach 100 brews sipped score the coveted World Tour jacket and an invite to the end-of-tour party in January.
25380 Miles Rd.

“Deemed “the Oscars of the food world” by Time, The James Beard Foundation Awards are the country’s most coveted honor for chefs; food and beverage professionals; broadcast media, journalists, and authors working on food; and restaurant architects and designers.”

So says James Beard, regarding James Beard. Whether or not you’re familiar with the hallowed foodie award, you’ll want to know this: four of the semi-finalist nominees for Outstanding Wine and Spirit Professional are breweries. You can find all the nominees online, but here’s the big four:

• Larry Bell (Bell’s Brewery)

• Sam Calagione (Dogfish Head Brewery)

• Jim Koch (Boston Beer Co.)

• Garrett Oliver (The Brooklyn Brewery)

Nothing’s set it stone yet. On March 22, 2010, the finalists will be announced; we’ve got our fingers crossed for the Fab Four, but only five of the 20 nominees will progress to the final round of judging. Don’t worry, you don’t need to check anywhere else — we’ll keep you updated right here.

All this week on DRAFTMag.com, we’ll be checking in with the nominees themselves to see what it’s like to be on top. Brewers unite!

– Mariah Beckman

What’s a person to do? Sit back with a beer, obviously. But what’s the correct choice? Do you want to go with something light in case you need to run for your life? Or are you trying to drown yourself in alcohol before the water invades your living room? So many choices, so little time.

Tweet at us, email, or leave your thoughts in the comments. The best answer gets a shout-out on Friday. There’s no better way to impress your friends.

The Beer Institute spent $160,000 during the fourth quarter of 2009 advocating for brews and breweries. The figure might seem high, but it’s actually $10,000 less than the group spent during the same time period in 2008.

One of the major issues on the organization’s docket was beer taxes, but it also lobbied for labeling rights and regulatory matters.

Congress wasn’t the only target of the Beer Institute’s energy. According to the Associated Press, the organization also spent time dealing with the Federal Trade Commission, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Department of Health and Human Services, and other governmental organizations.

Anheuser-Busch InBev announced new regulations that will help the massive company save the environment. Specifically, it will reduce water use by 30 percent and energy use by 10 percent in the coming years.

According to a story in Environmental Leader, it takes 4.3 hectoliters of water to brew one hectoliter of beer. The AB InBev plans to reduce this figure to 3.5 hectoliters by 2012. (In 2007, it took 5.03 hectoliters.) The goal is possible, as the Cartersville, Ga. brewery only uses 3.1 hectoliters per hectoliter of beer.

AB InBev also plans to chop electricity consumption by using alternative forms of fuel. In total, 15 percent of its U.S. operations will soon run on renewable energy sources.

That’s some nice green news just in time for St. Patty’s Day.

Today: North Carolina.

Barley’s Taproom & Pizzeria
Asheville, North Carolina
Four locations are sprinkled throughout the Carolinas and Tennessee, but if we had to choose one, it would be in Asheville, arguably the Portland, Ore. of the East Coast. While Barley’s offers labels from notable craft breweries, it excels at representing North Carolina’s best: Catawba Valley, Big Boss, French Broad, and Pisgah, to name a few. Venture up to the second floor of this renovated 1920s appliance store, where you’ll find pool tables and another 19 taps to wet your whistle.
42 Biltmore Ave.

Busy Bee Café
Raleigh, North Carolina
Fantôme Pissenlit, Dogfish Head Burton Baton, and Terrapin Midnight Project are just a few of the treats to be had at this Raleigh bar, and while the selection isn’t vast, every beer is worth a try. Aside from the high-end suds (available at both its main and upstairs bar), Busy Bee has solidified itself as a go-to Raleigh hot spot with live music, delicious food (here’s help: order the Braised Dorper Lamb Shank), and a menu of gourmet coffee drinks for designated drivers.
225 S. Wilmington St.

The Raleigh Times Bar
Raleigh, North Carolina
Located inside the historic building that once housed the now-defunct Raleigh Times newspaper, this Belgian-inspired nightlife hub is where the growing hordes of local beer enthusiasts come to try out the best beer from the Old World, and the menu never disappoints. Rarities — at least in U.S. bars — like Monchshof Schwarzbier and Sinebroychoff Baltic Porter are just the tip of the iceberg. Well over 100 brews, most of which center around traditional Belgian styles, make this the vanguard of Raleigh’s craft beer movement.
14 E. Hargett St.

Tyler’s Taproom & Restaurant
Carrboro, North Carolina
With three locations in Durham, Carrboro, and Apex (and soon, downtown Raleigh), Tyler’s is the old reliable drinking establishment in the Research Triangle. Part bar, restaurant, bottle shop, music venue, and speakeasy, Tyler’s covers just about every entertaining need, and even though beer shares the spotlight, there’s no slacking on quality. On its well-devised tap selection, expect to see the latest offerings from local brewers like Foothills Gruffmeister Maibock, as well as a few must-haves from nationwide breweries. Special tappings like the recent double dry-hopped Stone Old Guardian barleywine and beer dinners push this locale into true beer-bar greatness.
102 E. Main St.

Village Draft House
Raleigh, North Carolina
Resist the urge to belt out “99 Bottles of Beer” while you choose among the 99 taps on the wall (apparently, the staff reserves the right to slap you if you sing it). This relatively unassuming bar is perfect for delving into the craft brews coming out of North Carolina — with offerings from Big Boss, Highland, Cottonwood, Carolina Beer, and Carolina Brewing, the menu reads as a primer to the local craft scene. While sipping from the plethora of local craft, patrons can cheer on their alma mater’s basketball team, attempt to outsmart each other in trivia or just feast from the massive food menu.
428 Daniels St.